Tragedy

Yesterday something awful happened, my cousin was killed in a gun accident. They think it was an accident, he was playing with his gun, shooting birds and he accidentally shot himself. He was only 14 or 15, I'm not really sure, it's been a long while since I've seen him. It's just so sad though. How does something like this happen? I mean he was so young, had his whole life ahead of him. How does something so awful like this happen? I just don't understand.

My uncle was the one who found him, and I just can't get the image out of my head. I can't stop thinking about what he must have felt, finding him. It was his stepson, but he loved him like it was his own. I can't imagine dealing with that everyday, I didn't even see it and I can't get the image out of my head. I feel so awful for my aunt and uncle. My heart aches for them. What a terrible thing, to lose a child. A parent should NEVER have to bury their child. It's just so wrong.

I feel so helpless being so far away too. My family has been through some rough shit, but we've always been there for each other. Now I'm 1,700 miles away from all of them and I feel helpless. My mom told me not to come home, that my uncle will understand, but I still feel as though I should.

I still can't wrap my head around this. I'm sure it will take awhile, these things usually do.