Should Have Known

I don't know why I keep trying to see good in some people when I just keep proving myself wrong. I don't know why I don't just trust my gut and not give them anymore of my time. I think it's because I'm leaving so soon, I'm starting to get sentimental, I can't help but thinking, oh this is the last time I'll be doing this, and this is the last time I'll be going here. Maybe I'm hoping that they'll actually seem sad that I'm leaving? But no, all I get is the same BS, making me feel stupid for thinking maybe people can change. Oh well, it just makes it that much easier for me to be done with everything here and be ready to move onto better things. There are people here of course I will be keeping in touch with, I can't imagine my life without some of them, but there are some that I really don't care to speak with after I'm gone. I'm very much looking forward to meeting new people and making new friends :)

Busy Busy Day!

I feel like I got so much accomplished today and it really feels great! After one visit and three phone calls I finally have my internet and cable again, but I don't think I will ever go with Charter again, after the amount of problems I had with them.
I got all my mail forwarded to my parents house, and my gym membership canceled, and I got some things taken care of with my bank account so I can use it there, even though its just a local bank and I'm almost done with the video for my sister's grad party. It feels good to cross so many things off of my To Do list! I was starting to feel really overwhelmed from it all.
I still can't believe that I leave in less than two weeks. I can't wrap my mind around the fact that I will no longer be living in Minnesota. I don't think it will seem real until after I leave maybe not even until I'm out there in our new place.
Tonight I'm heading up to St. Cloud with my mom and my sister for my sister's orientation tomorrow. I can't believe my baby sister is going to college!! It so crazy! I'm so excited for her though, college will be such an amazing experience for her.

A Little Bit of Everything

So on Sunday my mom and I learned how to knit from a friend of hers. It was actually pretty fun and I caught on pretty quickly, I am now currently knitting my first scarf. I think its a cool hobby because I'm really ADD in the car so it will give me something to do on that 25 hour car drive out to Washington(when I'm not driving).

Yesterday was not so pleasant. Stupid Charter messed up the date that my internet/cable was supposed to be shut off, so they came and shut it off 10 days early. I was not a happy camper, because they told me that they couldn't turn it back on until Wednesday. Not cool, considering the internet is my only form of communication with Brandan right now, and today is our anniversary so I was really upset at the prospect of no internet. So I decided to come down to my parents house, where I am right now so I could have some internet. Boy am I glad I did! Last night Brandan got online and I got to talk to him for over an hour, which is the longest we've talked since his internet was shut off in his room May 1st.

My brother also called and unfortunetly my parents were at my sister's senior dinner at her high school, so I told him to call them since they haven't talked to him in awhile either, but my mom didn't hear her phone go off, even though my brother tried calling her 5 times, so she was really upset when she got home and realized they missed him. And him and Brandan left the MWR about 10 minutes before they got home. So I felt really bad that her night was ruined. But I'm hoping he calls back soon so they can talk to him.

So I stayed at my parents house last night, and somehow today I got roped into mopping the kitchen floor. I'm such a good daughter :) But its ok, because my mom is bringing me home some subway for lunch. yummmm...

Also today I realized that I leave for Washington in exactly 2 weeks!! Holy shit! I need to get my butt moving because I have a lot to get done! Ahh I'm starting to stress now and feel like I won't get everything done. I can't believe that time has gone this fast and that I'm about to leave. I only have a week left of work too! I'm getting really excited about that though because I'm ready to be done and find a job that I don't have to work nights and weekends. That would be absolutely ideal! Anyway I better go call that mother of mine and see when she's bringing home those subs... I'm starving!

Sex and the City

I am so excited for this movie! I am a HUGE Sex and the City fan! SJP is just so fabulous! I can't wait to find out what happens, in the previews it definitely looks like Aiden is making a comeback. I'm not sure how I feel about this though. I loved Aiden while he was on the show, but I don't want Carrie to screw things up with Big. Right now they are having a marathon of Sex and the City on TBS, and since I am a lamo and sitting at home on a Saturday night its perfect! I'm actually putting off cleaning and packing right now. I'm just feeling so lazy tonight so I'll probably just wake up early tomorrow to get some things done before I head down to my parents house.

Tomorrow my mom and I will be having our first knitting lesson. We've been trying to do this for awhile, but it just hasn't ended up working. I really would have liked to start more than 2 weeks before I move, but oh well. At least this will be a start, and it will give me something to do on the 25 hour drive to Washington!

For now I'm going to continue to enjoy my SATC marathon and put off packing :)

e.e. cummings

I carry your heart with me

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Deployment Survivor

I am about to become a Deployment survivor, which is a wonderful feeling of accomplishment. I feel proud that I showed all of those people who said I couldn't do it and that we wouldn't make it that I am strong and that I could do it. It hasn't been an easy year, thats for sure, but it has definitely been worth it. I feel as though B and I have connected on a different level, proving that you don't have to be around somebody all the time to feel close to them. I feel as close to him as ever and he's 6,000 miles away. Lately though, communication has been difficult. Their internet was shut off in their rooms since they are packing up and getting ready to come home, and he doesn't always have time to go to the MWR to use the computers. It can be frustrating but I just keep reminding myself that it will all be over soon. As a matter of fact, my DOM, which is a microsoft excel spreadsheet calculating the time they've been gone, says we're at 94% right now. I never thought I would see this day! I'm just so anxious to get out to Washington and get an apartment and get everything set up. I really hope I can find a job that allows me to have nights and weekends off, so I can enjoy as much time with B as possible!

3 a.m. still awake?

So it's 3 a.m. and I can't sleep so what do I do? Create a blog. It's something I've been wanting to do for awhile and I guess now is the perfect time! I think a little anxiety is the reason I can't sleep tonight. In less than 3 weeks I will be moving 1,700 miles away from everything I have ever known. I am extremely excited, but nervous at the same time. I feel like I have so much to do before I leave. And to top it all off, my sister is graduating from High School 2 days before we leave. To say my family is stressed out would be putting it mildly. In the end though, the reward will be so worth it. Travis and Brandan will finally be home with us for good!For now at least.. it is the Army after all. *sigh* For now, time to get some sleep because tomorrow will no doubt be a busy day!